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machinekng
Gabe
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Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that's viewed, commented on or otherwise supported my work. It's been great growing as an artist and working with other members of the alternate history community here on DA. 
So, I've had an idea for a Ted Cruz-themed parody musical, but I forgot about it after Cruz became irrelevant. Now that he's been back in the spotlight, I might as well share some of the ideas.

Note: I do note endorse the following content. Every single concept and idea is a lie.

Act 0: Establishing Scenes

Our story opens onto a scene of ordinary Americans (chorus), sitting in a McDonalds and listening to the news on the complimentary TV. They begin to complain about their hardships, and quickly state that it's all Obama's fault [1 - Thanks Obama!]. We then transition to the Oval Office, were we learn that Obama has been listening into their conversations, and takes credit for everything the chorus complained about [2 - I'm A (Socialist-Liberal-Muslim-Atheist Communazi)]. Obama reveals to the audience that if his successor wins in 2016, that he will be able to take everyone's guns and proclaim a dictatorship, based on a secret line in the ACA. Hiliary Clinton joins him, and they sing about Hilary's gleeful misdeeds [3 - Were you there? (When I killed Vince Foster)]. We then transition to congress, where we see a gaggle of establishment GOP politicians, who have an inkling of the on coming tyranny, but don't care for the American people [4 - The Establishment]. We make one last transition back to the chorus, this time in an anti-abortion protest outside of the White House, as Planned Parenthood garbage trucks full of fetuses roll by. The chorus is anguished [5 - Will Anyone Save the Babies?] and they pray to God for a hero to save America.

Act 1: A Hero Rises

We open on a small farm in Texas. A young man is tending the fields and animals, and sings of his love of America [6 - God's Country]. Following a hard day's work, he goes to a town hall with the Texas Senator, on the topic of religious freedom. While the townsfolk are concerned with immorality in their country [7 - Where Has Our Country Gone?] the Senator cares little for their concerns [8 - (We're a) Modern Democracy], and feels that anyone can do whatever they like. The townsfolk are quiet, but the young man rises in protest [9 - God's Country, Reprise]. Persecuted for his ideals, the young man is tossed out of the townhall by jack-booted thugs. The townsfolk rally around the young man, telling him that he should pursue a path in politics and beat the Senator [10 - You'd Do it Better]. The young man confides with his parents and God [11 - Am I The One?] and decides to go ahead with the idea. He successfully runs for Senator [12 - Election Day I] and heads off to Washington D.C. [13 - I Am The One].

This young man is then revealed to be Ted Cruz.

Act 2: The Primaries

We flash-forward back to the present of Act 0, five years after Act 1. Ted Cruz laments his time in the senate, expressing frustration with his peers [14 - In These Unhallowed Halls.] While Ted Cruz has fought hard for his ideals, and has made friends in the Tea Party [15 - A Few Good Men], he's been stymied by the GOP establishment, which is fiercely loyal to President Obama [16 - The Establishment, Reprise]. In order to change the country, Ted Cruz decides to run for President [17 - I Am The One, Reprise]. We transition to the White House, where Barack Obama's council is terrified by the announcement [18 - Can We Beat Him?]. Obama hatches a plot to defeat Cruz at the primary level, recruiting Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio and even Donald Trump to crush Cruz's presidential chances [19 - Army of Progress]. However, Cruz is a master debater, and defeats each and every one of them in turn in the debates rap battle [20 - 11 On 1 (The Debates)]. Ultimately, Cruz decides to pick Rand Paul as his VP, one of his fellow Tea Partiers and the only primary opponent not called out as an agent of Obama [21 - Together (We'll Do Great Things)]. The act closes in a bombastic number with Cruz, Paul, Obama and Hillary expressing their ambitions and fears [22 - Can We Beat Him/Can I Win?]

Act 3: The General

Act 3 opens onto a debate between Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz. While Clinton condemns the average American [23 - (America is) Deplorable!], Ted Cruz lauds them [24 - You Are (God's People)]. Ted Cruz is lauded by the general public, while Hillary Clinton storms off in a huff. Ted Cruz confides in Rand Paul, explaining his vision for restoring the country [25 - Together, Reprise]. However, once Cruz leaves the scene, Paul reveals that he cares nothing for traditional values [26 - I Just Like Weed]. Obama approaches Paul, offering him a "deal" that would give Paul power without allowing Cruz to be in charge [27 - You Could Be The One]. Election day dawns. The Democratic base comes out to vote. This includes punk teenagers, gangbangers, the KKK, international bankers, corrupt union bosses, and LGBT people [28 - We Voted, Did You?]. However, Cruz's base, comprised entirely of good-looking white people, also comes out to vote [29 - Election Day II]. While it would seem that Cruz is winning, "vote irregularities" lead to the election being a tie in the electoral college [30 - A Funny Thing In Florida]. The entire cast comes together, and Obama reveals that congress will elect Hillary president and Paul vice president, ensuring the death of America [31 - This Is The End!]. Cruz is distraught [32 - Am I The One? Reprise] but he stands up, and calls on the American people to make things right [33 - You Are, Reprise]. Inspired by Cruz, the chorus assaults the White House, arresting Obama and the establishment politicians [34 - Bye Obama!]. Cruz is appointed President for Life by popular acclaim, and proceeds to lay out his vision for American as his new populist government begins to arrest the country's enemies [35 - This Land is My Land].

Fin.

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:iconbippytheguy:
BippyTheGuy Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Our Fathers' Stars is honestly the most deeply terrifying scenario I've ever come across.
Reply
:iconentrerrianomaps:
EntrerrianoMaps Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2017
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconbeedok:
beedok Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2017
Thanks for the watch and fave! :D
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:iconmachinekng:
machinekng Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconresistance-pencil:
resistance-pencil Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2017
Thanks for the +fav :D (Big Grin) 
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:iconmachinekng:
machinekng Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
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:icontwiggierjet:
Twiggierjet Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016
Happy birthday.
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:iconmachinekng:
machinekng Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks!
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:iconraptor-177:
Raptor-177 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I swear man, few decades from now, when these imaginary ideologies become real, you'll be an effing prophet
Reply
:iconmachinekng:
machinekng Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope not, but I did my best to construct plausible ideas, I guess we'll see.
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